An Early Spring Cleaning

Sydney Morning Herald

Tuesday August 12, 2008

Michael Evans

Delicate Michael Evans breaks into a sweat at the sight of a feather duster.

THE delicate art of a corporate clean-out is something companies practise to intricate levels.

So when Telstra's new marketing chief, Amanda Johnston, arrived to take up the reins last week, staff were entitled to wonder if a little spring clean was in order.

Their fears were no doubt only heightened when each found a bottle of cleaning spray on their desks, courtesy of Ms Johnston, who has recently relocated from Telstra's internet arm.

Now, marketing people love team bonding and grand sweeping metaphors to encapsulate the repositioning of a brand's key attributes. But when the 40 staff saw the bottles of cleaning fluid they could have been forgiven for thinking they were in for a brainstorming session about whither the Telstra brand. Or worse.

Apparently it turns out it was nothing more than an early spring clean. But this being marketing, there is no such thing as a humble tidy-up, more a realignment of the office ambience, says a Telstra spokesthing.

"Amanda is a new member of the team and the whole team did a bit of spring cleaning tore-energise the office's feng-shui," he said.

All ye who enter 400 George Street, bring a duster.

Failed to start

A disappointing weekend's racing for two of Macquarie Group's finest. Greg Ward and Peter Lucas failed to make it to the starting line of round five of the Australian GT vroom vrooms at Phillip Island.

While Ward pulled out the third fastest lap in the first practice session and Peter Lucas the sixth, things then headed for the pits. Lucas was eighth fastest in the second practice round in his Lotus Elise, sponsored by his better half's florist shop, while Ward, fuelled by his own vineyard, was tenth in his Porsche.

In qualifying, Ward was seventh fastest. Lucas didn't make it to the start. Neither made it to the starting line for the three races.

Pick a card

Roll up, roll up. Welcome to the Great Philgreeny's Magic Show. Today's performance: watch how $100 million could disappear into thin air.

Now all you have to do, dear share'olders of good old Babcock & Brown, is to pick the size of this year's slump in half-year profits.

It's a bit hit-and-miss after some sharemarket turmoil here, nasty hedge funds shorting them there, a few little asset sales 'ere and there.

All we know is that the profit's gonna be somewhere between 25 per cent and 40 per cent lower than last year. Could be 26, could be 39. What's a few million between friends, eh?

The chaps at Babcock's have got 16 cards to choose from. On each card is a number between 25 and 40.

So here's your chance, should it be 25 per cent? 31? 36? Or shall we make it 40? That's right, a $100 million drop could be yours if you go for 40 per cent. All you have to do is pick a card. Who wants to play, then?

Chameleon by name

Proceeds of capital raisings are used for many purposes. Like growing the business or paying debt.

Or, in the case of Chameleon Mining, funding a legal stoush.

Chameleon has lodged a prospectus to raise $2.3 million to help fund the case of a chap named David Evans. Yes, that's the same David Evans of Etihad's famed inflight entertainment service.

We thought Chameleon was a rock kicker, but it seems it has gone into the litigation funding business. It's funding a long-running dispute between former Chameleon director Evans and Murchison Metals.

Evans claims he is owed 5 per cent of a project to which Murchison is a joint venture partner with deep-pocketed Japanese concern Mitsubishi.

Chameleon appears to be banking on a fair slice of the proceeds should the case get up.

Underwriting the issue is Indian Ocean Corporate, chaired by one Domenic Martino.

Margin fever

Perhaps there's a simple explanation for Ed Eshuys'no-show in Kalgoorlie last week. The boss of St Barbara was likely to be fretting over the goldminer's share price. The next day he copped the first of four margin calls that have resulted in more than half his shares, worth about $1.6 million, being sold from under him.

Slightly warmer clime

OZ Minerals boss Andrew Michelmore must be glad he packed away his parka and headed back to Melbourne after a stint working for Russian oligarch Oleg Deripaska.

A failed attempt to give former Oxiana boss Owen Hegarty $10 million would seem a breeze compared to having a long-time friend of Russian PM Vladimir Putin breathing down your neck.

Russian mining giant Norilsk - of which Michelmore's former employer owns 25 per cent - recently sacked its boss and replaced him with Vladimir Strzhalkovsky, a former KGB officer and longtime Putin pal.

At least Michelmore, who served as a corporate governance adviser to Deripaska before a failed attempt to float aluminium producer Rusal, appears to have taught his old boss well. Deripaska is railing against Strzhalkovsky's appointment, saying the former KGB man lacks experience.

One can only wonder what BHP Billiton and Rio Tinto think, since they have separate exploration joint ventures with Norilsk in Russia.

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© 2008 Sydney Morning Herald

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